Author: system

Enjoy Traveling During the Summer Vacation – What Else Besides Just Having Fun?

The summer holidays are here, and many parents choose to travel with their children during this long break, not only to spend quality time together, but also to rejuvenate. I wonder if there are any other reasons why people choose to travel during the summer? Some may say that traveling can also broaden children’s horizons. Indeed, “it is better to travel ten thousand miles than to read ten thousand books.” If children have firsthand experiences, they will likely have a deeper understanding of the knowledge they have learned. For example, when children learn about the Great Wall of China, visiting the site in person would allow them to truly appreciate the grandeur of this architectural marvel in human history. When choosing travel destinations, I also consider whether they align with my daughter’s learning content. For instance, when she is studying different types of animals, I will include a visit to the zoo during our trip, so that she can interact with various animals directly, which is much more engaging than learning from books or TV alone. I highly value the several days we spend traveling, as it allows for extended quality time together. By observing my daughter closely during these days, I can gain deeper insights into her. When my daughter was younger, I would pay particular attention to the following aspects during our travels: (1) How the child interacts with strangers During travels, children encounter various unfamiliar people. How does my daughter behave in such situations? Does she proactively

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Don’t Let Children Become the “Third Party” in a Marriage

Written by: Aunty Anne Parents Station When a man and a woman meet, get to know each other, and fall in love, they then get married and start their own family. Husband and wife promise to love and respect each other regardless of the circumstances, and their marital relationship naturally becomes the foundation of the family. The arrival of children completes the family structure, but also makes the situation more complex: from the original couple relationship, it evolves into parent-child and grandparent-grandchild relationships. When facing the well-being of the children, everyone has their own opinions and positions, and blending them is not an easy task. If we think carefully, we will understand that although husband and wife are the same two people, the two roles have different needs and considerations. The addition of a young child makes the couple cautiously take on the parental identity, which is laborious but also filled with sweetness. Infants are fragile and dependent, so parents naturally focus all their attention on protecting and caring for the child, inevitably neglecting the needs of their partner and even themselves, which is understandable. However, the all-encompassing protective net that parents cast during the infant and toddler stage does not recede as the child grows up, allowing the child to forge their own path in life. Modern families idolise the children and let them dominate the family’s operations, overshadowing the spousal relationship. Spouses can no longer get the understanding and gratitude they expect from each other, and the relationship

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Tokens of love relieve separation anxiety

Written by: Fung Ji Hei, Game Therapist Little Ying, at the start of the new school year, would sit on the sofa outside the school hall every day, crying and saying her stomach hurt, while tightly gripping her mother’s hand. Psychological experts believe this is a characteristic of children suffering from separation anxiety. If parents want to reduce their children’s anxiety, one method is to help the children through “tokens”. Why can these “tokens” be effective? The author attempts to explain the underlying mechanism from the perspective of child psychological development. The Invisible Sense of Security The cognitive development theory proposed by the modern child psychologist Jean Piaget can explain the underlying principle. In the first stage (0-2 years old) of the theory, children can learn to search for hidden objects. This behavior indicates that children have learned the concept of object permanence – even if the object cannot be seen, they still know that it exists, so they will try to find it. In the second stage (2-7 years old), Piaget believes that children can use language and symbols as representations. For example, children can use the word “dog” to represent an animal with four legs, a tail, and a “woof woof” sound. When children go to school, they experience a similar situation to the first stage, but they do not cry because they cannot see their mothers, but because they cannot generate the sense of security that they had when with their mothers. To overcome this, children need

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The Parent-Child Relationship of “One Chases, One Walks”

Written by: Ms. Ng Yee Kam, Founder and CEO of Family Dynamics Marriage and Family Therapist Child Play Therapist Many parents complain that as their children grow older, they become less willing to talk to their parents, and the relationship becomes more distant and indifferent. Parents begin to not know what is on their children’s minds, what their school life is like, and what their friends are like. As far as the eye can see, it’s all gaming, watching TV, surfing the internet, WhatsApp, WeChat, and Instagram! Parents inevitably develop a sense of unease, because it feels like they have lost connection with their beloved children. The more uneasy parents become, the more they want to pull their children back. But the methods they use are often questioning, regulating, criticizing, and blaming, showing a lack of understanding and trust towards their children’s behavior. From the children’s perspective, the parents’ “concern” and “care” feel like control and unreasonableness. As a result, the more the parents want to get closer to their children, the more the children want to avoid their parents! This chasing creates a tense and awkward parent-child relationship, which is truly a pity! Whether it’s the evolution of society or the nurturing of the next generation, the role of parents is the most important. Parents have multiple responsibilities: care, provision, guidance, and demonstration. The best way to connect the relationship between parents and children and create positive interactions is the way parents convey love and care, which can make

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Why do children have the habit of sucking their fingers? What can parents do about it?

Written by: Ms. Chan-Chen Shu-an, Early Childhood Education Specialist Some children still have the habit of sucking their fingers even when they enter kindergarten, or even at ages 5 or 6. According to Dr. David Levy’s research, children who finish a bottle of milk in 10 minutes (possibly due to a larger bottle nipple hole) are more likely to develop the habit of sucking their fingers, compared to children who finish the entire bottle in 20 minutes. Dr. Levy also experimented by feeding puppies with a dropper, so they didn’t have a chance to suck while drinking milk. The result was that the puppies reacted by sucking each other’s or their own skin, and some even peeled off the skin through excessive sucking. From this, we can understand that the behavior of infants sucking their fingers in the first few months is due to the lack of satisfaction from sucking, it is a need, and not an innate or bad behavior. Why do children develop the habit of sucking their fingers? Breastfeeding Promotes Parent-Child Bonding When a mother can breastfeed her baby, the infant is the happiest, because not only does the baby receive proper nutrition, but also the skin-to-skin contact provides warmth and a sense of security. Moreover, by sucking on the soft nipple, in addition to getting fed, the baby also enjoys the communication and deep love between mother and child. This profound affection and intimacy is incomparable to being fed by a cold bottle. The baby also

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The most important thing in teaching children is values

Written by: Senior Early Childhood Education Consultant, Miss Mok Loi Yan In recent years, news of parent-child tragedies has become increasingly common. The root cause lies in severe deviations in parent-child relationships, familial bonds, and individual roles in family responsibilities. This results in resentment, blame-shifting, and an inability to combat negative thoughts, sometimes leading to the desire to harm others as a form of self-relief. Guiding Children on the Right Path Through Parental Values Although parents may feel heartbroken, they cannot turn back time to rebuild affectionate relationships with their children or restore the value of familial bonds. People do not have the choice to select their parents, so they must cherish the relationships they have. However, parents can seize the present moment to let their children know that they are the most selfless people in the world, allowing them to feel the warmth and tenderness of their parents. Since we never know when we might no longer be by our children’s side, the only things that can help them make judgments, prevent them from going astray, and resist negative temptations are the values and parent-child relationships taught by their parents. Children must understand that regardless of whether family life is smooth or challenging, it is a gift and a form of training. Through this training, people become stronger, making it an invaluable element of growth. When we witness the tragedies of other families and individuals, it serves as a warning to resolutely avoid following the same path. At the

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Obsession: Separation Anxiety

Written by: Hong Kong Registered Psychologist, Ching Wai Keung Around nine months of age, babies become unusually clingy. Even if the mother goes to the bathroom, the baby may appear extremely anxious, clinging tightly to the mother and even crying loudly. Separation anxiety can lead to two different types of reactions. In some cases, when separated from the caregiver, the baby will exhibit attachment-seeking behaviors, such as clinging to the mother, trying every possible way to find the mother, or crawling wherever the mother goes (Ainsworth, Bell, & Stayton, 1971). Separation can also result in behaviors such as despair, resistance, and detachment, depending on the duration of the separation (Bowlby, 1960; Robertson & Robertson, 1989). A child’s reaction to separation can also change depending on the environment. For example, in a familiar home environment, the child will exhibit less anxiety compared to being in an unfamiliar environment (Ross, Kagan, Zelazo, & Kotelchuck, 1975). Around seven months of age, the concept of object permanence begins to emerge in children. They understand that even if they cannot see someone or something, it does not mean that the person or object has disappeared. When children are able to establish this concept, their separation anxiety will relatively decrease. If the mother can frequently communicate with the child, express positive emotions and feelings towards the infant, and provide appropriate stimulation and assistance, the child will more easily grasp and apply the concept of object permanence to both objects and people (Chazan, 1981). Helping children cope

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Stranger anxiety: Anxiety towards strangers

Written by: Hong Kong registered psychologist, Ching Wai Keung When discussing the formation of attachment, it is not difficult to observe that children, from infancy (approximately from birth to two years old), already exhibit feelings of anxiety, including stranger anxiety and separation anxiety. These anxieties typically begin to appear between six months and one year of age. This time, we will focus on discussing stranger anxiety. Simply put, stranger anxiety is what parents often refer to as fear of strangers, and the behaviors derived from it are what we commonly call “recognizing people.” The intensity of fear of strangers can vary; mild cases may only show reluctance to be held by strangers or avoidance of strangers’ gazes, while severe cases can involve extreme discomfort or even crying loudly just from a stranger’s glance. Firstly, I must explain that under normal circumstances, fear of strangers should be seen as a positive developmental signal, indicating that the child is capable of distinguishing between caregivers and others. Parents should not be overly concerned. Secondly, an infant’s reaction to strangers often changes depending on the external environment, including the current objective environment, the stranger’s actions towards the infant, the distance between the infant and their primary caregiver, and the caregiver’s reaction to the stranger (Keltenbach, Weinraub, & Fullard, 1980). For example, if the primary caregiver interacts with the stranger in a positive manner, using friendly speech and tone, the child’s response is likely to be more positive as well (Feinman & Lewis, 1983). Therefore,

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Why are children always distracted while eating?

Written by: Heep Hong Society Educational Psychologist Team Many children aged 4 to 5 tend to look around and fidget during meals because they are not yet adept at using utensils. Additionally, their short attention spans, still-developing sense of time, curiosity about their surroundings, or even a desire to avoid eating may contribute to their lack of focus. Short Attention Spans Children aged 4 to 5 generally need longer meal times than adults. This is partly because they are not yet familiar with using utensils, which can lead to clumsiness, and partly because their chewing and digestive abilities are still developing, necessitating longer meal times. Furthermore, due to their short attention spans, low self-control, and lack of time awareness, they are easily distracted by their environment. When they become engrossed in something interesting, they may even forget about their meal in front of them, often requiring repeated reminders from parents to continue eating, which prolongs mealtime. Parents dealing with children who have short attention spans can try to create a consistent, quiet, familiar, and simply arranged dining environment. They can set a reasonable time limit for meals and remind the children periodically of the time limit to ensure they finish their meals within that timeframe. Curiosity About the Surroundings Additionally, some children are naturally “observational” learners with strong curiosity, often learning new things by observing through their eyes. Even during meals, they might look around, continuing to learn. Although this behavior might seem like they are not concentrating, they rarely

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What should I do if a child is overly attached to objects?

Written by: Heep Hong Society Educational Psychologist Team A friend’s five-year-old daughter has been exhibiting “object attachment” since she was two years old. No matter what she does, she must hold her old, worn-out teddy bear, almost never letting it out of her hands. The old teddy bear is her most important possession, and she must hold it tightly wherever she goes. If she finds it missing, she becomes irritable and cries incessantly. Recently, her mother threw away the teddy bear for hygiene reasons, and the girl cried all day long. From a psychological perspective, a child’s attachment to an object is a stage in their psychological development, most commonly occurring from six months to three years old, and peaking around two years old. According to child psychology, these old objects and toys are a source of psychological security for young children. The duration of a child’s attachment to objects varies; some children’s attachments are short-lived, while others may continue until they start elementary school. Children may become particularly attached to familiar objects during sudden events or changes in their environment, such as a sudden change in living conditions, exposure to violence, or separation from loved ones, as these objects provide a source of comfort and stability. Conduct a “Farewell to Attachment Objects” Ceremony Educational psychologists believe that since a child’s excessive attachment to objects is caused by a lack of security, to solve this problem, one should start by increasing the child’s sense of security. Generally, guiding children to

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